Living in Community

I live with my husband, my friend and colleague and my boss- under one roof. And, shall I add, under one ceiling. That’s right, our house isn’t finished and we don’t have ceilings in the rooms. We have walls dividing the rooms, but no ceilings. No matter where you are in the house, you can pretty much hear what’s going on in every room.

I’ll admit it, I’m an independent girl. I’m the kind of person who cannot relate at all with people who are afraid to go out to dinner alone, feel restless sitting quietly for long periods of time, and like to have constant noise in their lives. You see, I’m a total extrovert- a people person, but I love my alone time. And, I have the luxury of having an introverted husband. So, we built a very happy life for ourselves in Chicago complete with loads of quality community time and solid chunks of alone time- alone apart time. We loved it!

Life in Kenya is just a little bit different… For starters, we’re never alone. In the house, Jake, Janine, Doug and I are united by the lack of ceilings. Outside the house, we stick out like…well super white folk, and everyone wants to greet us (and we’re so grateful that we’re so kindly received here). And, for safety reasons, we don’t travel anywhere alone.

Last week, I had a moment. I felt desperate to get away- alone. I felt guilty about it at first, even a bit ashamed. You see,

I love my team, I love my husband, I love my job and I love the community we’re
working in. So, what was my problem?

Then I took a good bit of time to reflect, alone, in my room (I try to take a bit of time every day, but this particular occasion I sensed it was going to take awhile). I shut my bedroom door and popped in headphones to drown out the conversation in the house. And the craziest thing happened…it all started to make sense. If there’s a big tank within us that rises and falls with alone time, I came to the realization that mine was absolutely empty, and systems were shorting out because of it. I felt myself getting stressed out and impatient. And, the worst part was that I felt like it was inevitable that it stayed that way. But, then I realized that there was one huge flaw with my logic- it lacked creativity.

I took a good long time to journal and pray and sort things out a bit. Then, I shared it with Doug (ok, so it wasn’t all sorted out at that point…Doug helped tremendously. I have the best husband ever!). Later on I got up the courage to bring it to the team. They were so wonderful and so gracious. And, it turns out, that we’re all sort of struggling with similar things. It felt so refreshing to have such a great team, where we can have real chats like that, and we’re able to be open and catch things before they become major deals.

So, I’ve been getting creative lately. I carve out some time each morning where I shut the door and sit alone with my journal and stare out the window at the gorgeous green valley. I feel refreshed and focused afterwards (it’s easy to get overwhelmed with the huge scope of my job). And, Doug and I take walks together every couple days, even if it’s just to the market to buy tomatoes. We do that matter what, even when we’re busy. And I’m getting better at telling the team when I need some uninterrupted time. It’s helping. I feel so much better, so much freer and less wound up inside. I know, I’m slow, I should’ve noticed this all early. Before I left I predicted that this would happen. But, it snuck up on me.

Here’s to creativity and quality alone time even in a crowded place! I’m drinking it in, and it’s doing wonders for my soul! I’m doing great!